tv dinners

watercooler chat about what’s on TV and what you had for dinner last night

Stars for the weak and unlucky

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The thing is, astrology isn’t silly, but you’ve got to choose your sources. If you’re after some indepth answers, go here.
However, if you’re happy with sun sign only predictions, I’m potentially your mystic, providing you don’t mind waiting for several months at a time. Scorpio’s are meant to be occult-enbled don’t you know? And I have both my ascendant and sun sign in good old Scorpio, and my moon sign in Sagittarius.

So know you know all about me, let me tell you what’s in store for you.

Scorpio

You’re the best, really. When you next go into Costa, they’re going to give you a gold lid for your takeaway coffee. Trust me.

Sagittarius

Puppy
love again Sag? Watch out for these dark afternoons, I can see you know
falling into a dead-end affair, crossing paths with some loser in the
sci-fi fiction section of the library.

Capricorn

Sweetcorn’s
only on special for another few weeks, if you’re lucky! Be proud of who
you are; wear some Capri shorts and eat that corn!

Aquarius

Time
to set your clock forward again Aquarius, by 6 minutes and 24 seconds.
Do this by 30 November and you will win on your next scratch it card.
Yeah you laugh now, but you know you’re going to do it!

Pisces

In
Australia, they make little kids wear icecream tubs on their heads,
with painted eyes drawn on the back, to deter crows “Wagga” in
aborigine, from dive bombing them for their shiny locks. Ron Atkinson
is a Pisces, so my advice to you this month little fish, is to keep
your head down and watch your mouth.

Aries

Here’s the
deal Aries. It’s time to change your name. Sign all your Christmas
cards with ‘prince’ in the middle, So I’d be, “All my love, victoria
‘prince’ colios. Indie rock stars do it all the time and you too will
soon be enjoying similar kudos; on the guest list for Kula Shaker and
discounts on turtle necks.

Taurus

Only one month to
go til Christmas Taurus, but you don’t need to wait that long, have a
practise run on 23 November, Thanksgiving. Give thanks for your
pleasant nature and roast potatoes.

Gemini

Your cat has something to tell you. You’re so bright, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.

Cancer

Before
your work Xmas do Cancer, work out who the Aries in your office is.
They’re going to make a big announcement, and it won’t be that the
goods lift is broken.

Leo

Call your mother. Or try your hand at collecting money from your neighbours. Santa only visits those who’ve been good you know.

Virgo

For riches, make a bet on Colchester United’s Adam Virgo.

Libra

Statistically, you’re more likely to become a Premiership footballer than any other star sign Libra. What the hell went wrong?

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Written by Victoria

November 18, 2007 at 10:38 pm

Posted in TV

Tagged with ,

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